If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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