i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
