Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
