She is in my trunk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize