eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
