well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
