Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
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He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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