I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize