3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
