i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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