I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
