I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
