A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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