I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
