i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I have post one night stand depression
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