How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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