grandma shit on top of the toilet
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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