I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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