Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
