the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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