at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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