remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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