Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
