I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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