she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
