If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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