I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
