But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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