He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
