just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
