Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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