I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
