i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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