i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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