I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize