Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
