Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
