no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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