just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
