I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize