dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Girls should come with a carfax report
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
