Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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