you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
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