Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just threw up on my dentist
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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