Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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