Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
