I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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