omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
