we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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