..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
my shit smells like andre
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
