i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
