Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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