found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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