What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
