chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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