Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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