You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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