So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
