At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
