I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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