Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
