There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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