nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
