No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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