Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize