Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
